I'm about to get real for a sec. When I look at these pictures, I often get this deep sadness and sense of dissatisfaction. In college, I felt SO sure that God's purpose for my life involved travel and/or living in another country. I knew that he had given me my hunger for travel for a reason. Now, living in Mississippi, I feel so thankful to have a job that allows me to influence lives every day, and I'm so incredibly blessed to have an amazing man to share a home and life with, but I still find myself asking God, "When? Is missions even still part of the plan? Did I misunderstand you? Have I been so wrapped up in my own desires that I just heard what I wanted to?"

Honestly, I don't have the answers to those questions. My heart still longs for travel and culture and missions, but I don't know how God is going to use that. What I can say is that I have learned so much about God through this area of confusion in my life. "Whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, 'It is well. It is well with my soul.'" I now understand that my job is simply to do the best I can with the lot that I have been given in each moment, rather than constantly asking, "What next?" Because if I'm constantly questioning whether or not my vision for my life is going to happen, I'm not trusting that God's vision will be more fulfilling and more impactful than anything I could have ever imagined. And after all, this life is God's, not mine. The glory belongs to him, not me. I am exactly where I am for a purpose, and I am learning to be completely peaceful/content in that.

My sweet husband planned a "Back to Venice" dinner the other night, complete with Venice pesto, Venice wine, and Italian music. He even put our souvenirs on the table to make it feel more legitimate. Love him.

Some days I let the stress and administrative portion of my job steal all of my joy. This morning was one of those mornings when I can feel God whispering, "Sarah, open your eyes. These children are beautiful, and you get to be an important part of their lives. Don't take these days for granted."

Look at their precious faces...

I was blessed enough to spend the day hanging out at home, relaxing, getting things done that I don't have time to do otherwise, and loving on our new puppy. Days like this make me so thankful to have a job that gives me a summer. I just have to push through the next few months to make it there. I'm itching for it so badly!

We brought this beautiful baby home last weekend, and we have absolutely fallen in love with her. She's incredibly calm and loving - in fact, she's laying by my feet as I type this watching Josh play guitar - and she's already learned how to give us high fives. We couldn't decide on whether to name her Sparrow or Kashmir for a while, but we finally decided on Kashmir because it fits her personality so much better, has a cultural quality, and because her fur does feel like cashmere right now. She's definitely going to end up being big; so, we're tying to capture as much of her puppyhood now.

This is just a quick glimpse of some of my favorite pictures from our honeymoon in Venice. It was so wonderful - hands down, probably the most perfect/relaxing week of my life.

Over the past few months (particularly since I've been receiving a salary), the Lord has really been trying to reveal a side of me that is not pretty - really, it's the antithesis of everything I want to be. Lately, I've had the worst weakness for spending copious amounts of my money on clothing, decor to spruce up the apartment, and other unnecessary things. I have to really push myself to spend money on practical things, like getting my oil filled or groceries, and yet I think nothing of dropping up to 100 dollars a month on a new pair of boots or clothes for work. I've begun to feel so disgusted with myself for it.

So, my church is encouraging everyone to do a month of fasting/prayer. Most people are giving up meat, giving up caffeine, or going vegan for the month. I'm giving up buying any new article of clothing or item of decor for the apartment for at least one month. I'm going to challenge myself to limit those same purchases to a $30 budget for the 2 months after that.

Josh and I have also decided that for the month, we're giving up eating out. This includes getting anything like coffee or ice cream out, too. We've gotten into the habit of eating out once or twice a week when we're too tired after working to cook or when we've run out of groceries. We want to get much better at cooking healthy meals here at home.

This isn't to say that I will never buy a dress or a pair of shoes again or that Josh and I will never eat at a  restaurant again, but this challenge is intended to get our priorities back in order, discover how much money our new habits will save us, and to spend this time praying for a life more like Christ's. I know that I'm called to live a life of minimalism and giving, rather than spending a bunch of money on things that I don't really need. Christ's economy looks a lot more like money being spread evenly so that no one goes hungry or wanting, and I'm ashamed that I've been basically hoarding my money for myself and using it so selfishly. I know that God will open my eyes to how he intends for me to live this month and to what that means for how Josh and I use our finances. I'm excited for the clarity and peace that it will bring boh of us.



[The image in this post is not mine.]